Sometimes
life sets challenges; challenges, that we, as individuals have to experience
ourselves or challenges that we see other people go through. These
challenges can vary from things such as abseiling down a tall wall,
something that with the support of friends and family you were able to do and
therefore conquer your fear of heights. However, when this
"challenge" can be something as scary as death or close to it, what
do you do? Who do you turn to? Thankfully, I have not encountered a near death
experience so if you are reading this hoping I can provide support upon how to
deal with the whole concept first hand then I am very sorry but I cannot do so.
However, what I can do is talk about how I as a person deal with such things.
Recently, very recently in fact a close family member of mine nearly died. I will not go in to detail of as to how as I do not feel it necessary, but I will explain what I saw. Receiving the message that someone has phoned explaining that someone you are close to has been rushed in to hospital, you panic, you shut down and you cry and depending on who it is and how you close you were/are, you don't stop for days. The same pattern on repeat, mentally and physically. People deal with it in different ways. Some cannot bear to see a loved one in that state, others feel the need to see them in that state just so they can confirm it is as serious as everyone else is saying. Seeing them so fragile, so weak and so desperate for someone to send them a prayer, a little hope, anything. You sit there in shock, for once in your life you are lost for words. Every night from that moment on you sit there and consider the fact that maybe you should of been there more, maybe you should have held on to them for that bit longer. Maybe, just maybe none of this was your fault, yet you continue to sit there and think what you could of done better.
Days, weeks maybe even months later they are sent off to another hospital. This means another journey, another bed and another doctor. What do you do? Again, you deal with it in your own way. If you go and see them you consider whether or not that was a mistake. Will seeing them like this really put my mind at rest? Maybe not. You see the differences. More weight lost, paler, but still so very desperate for someone to save them. If they are given the chance, they are given that life saving operation. If they are given another chance, they survive that operation. Your hopes are risen, yet those around you can only see the negatives. What if?... But then surely?... Maybe the only way in which they can look onwards is to look backwards?... Me, of course I considered the negatives but out loud, only the positives were mentioned. I have a strong belief that looking for the negatives in everything will get you nowhere in life. You feel like you need to stay strong for those around you, regardless of as to whether or not they listen to you, let alone hear you. Trust me, there's a difference.
The next thing you know, after months of observation, time and effort there they are, up and walking, but something is still not quite the same. You reflect on the state they were in and decide you need to be there more.
Everything changes. The love becomes stronger, the hugs become longer and the feelings that you have for them change. You become more protective, more affectionate and more caring towards them.
Sorry for the depressing ramble, but this close family member of mine is alive after weeks of us thinking they wouldn't be here.
I love you.
Recently, very recently in fact a close family member of mine nearly died. I will not go in to detail of as to how as I do not feel it necessary, but I will explain what I saw. Receiving the message that someone has phoned explaining that someone you are close to has been rushed in to hospital, you panic, you shut down and you cry and depending on who it is and how you close you were/are, you don't stop for days. The same pattern on repeat, mentally and physically. People deal with it in different ways. Some cannot bear to see a loved one in that state, others feel the need to see them in that state just so they can confirm it is as serious as everyone else is saying. Seeing them so fragile, so weak and so desperate for someone to send them a prayer, a little hope, anything. You sit there in shock, for once in your life you are lost for words. Every night from that moment on you sit there and consider the fact that maybe you should of been there more, maybe you should have held on to them for that bit longer. Maybe, just maybe none of this was your fault, yet you continue to sit there and think what you could of done better.
Days, weeks maybe even months later they are sent off to another hospital. This means another journey, another bed and another doctor. What do you do? Again, you deal with it in your own way. If you go and see them you consider whether or not that was a mistake. Will seeing them like this really put my mind at rest? Maybe not. You see the differences. More weight lost, paler, but still so very desperate for someone to save them. If they are given the chance, they are given that life saving operation. If they are given another chance, they survive that operation. Your hopes are risen, yet those around you can only see the negatives. What if?... But then surely?... Maybe the only way in which they can look onwards is to look backwards?... Me, of course I considered the negatives but out loud, only the positives were mentioned. I have a strong belief that looking for the negatives in everything will get you nowhere in life. You feel like you need to stay strong for those around you, regardless of as to whether or not they listen to you, let alone hear you. Trust me, there's a difference.
The next thing you know, after months of observation, time and effort there they are, up and walking, but something is still not quite the same. You reflect on the state they were in and decide you need to be there more.
Everything changes. The love becomes stronger, the hugs become longer and the feelings that you have for them change. You become more protective, more affectionate and more caring towards them.
Sorry for the depressing ramble, but this close family member of mine is alive after weeks of us thinking they wouldn't be here.
I love you.
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