Life throws personal challenges in every direction when it wants and weirdly I find that these challenges are going to be difficult before I launch myself in to them.
I always try to have a positive attitude because I want to have as many opportunities as I can and often my attitude remains positive right up until that opportunity has been thrown my way. For example, a few months ago I auditioned for a show with a theatre company that I'd not worked with before and was fortunate to be given a part. Once rehearsals started (like everyone), I was trying to get to grips with the movement, harmonies and so on, but when it came to a point whereby I had a line and the focus was on me, I tried my best but knew in the forefront of my mind that I could of done better. I'm sure we all have our own expectations and requirements that we feel we need to live up to and for me, knowing that I didn't feel totally confident with how I delivered that line or played my character made me feel nervous in a way and my positive attitude turned negative because I then proceeded to doubt that I could do it at all.
I've always been someone who is unsure of how to respond to criticism and compliments. Of course, when on stage if you're directed to correct something, that isn't a personal attack on you, it's just that someone is helping you improve for your benefit. Likewise, if your weaknesses in a piece of work are listed to you that is so you can go away and improve to get a better grade. I understand how feedback works, but when in the situation I tend to forget and my personal feelings get in the way.
I'm slowly learning that although you need to work for what you want, it doesn't necessarily mean that when you get there you have to continue to push yourself. I spend far too much of my life attempting to live up to an invisible list of expectations far longer than the ones I could ever actually reach.
Hopefully one day I'll learn that I can do as I please without caring what others think of me and I'll be able to shorten my list of expectations. For now, I guess I just need to ease myself in to situations and try my best to maintain that positive outlook because being negative and putting my guard up will get me nowhere.
Dotty
X
I always try to have a positive attitude because I want to have as many opportunities as I can and often my attitude remains positive right up until that opportunity has been thrown my way. For example, a few months ago I auditioned for a show with a theatre company that I'd not worked with before and was fortunate to be given a part. Once rehearsals started (like everyone), I was trying to get to grips with the movement, harmonies and so on, but when it came to a point whereby I had a line and the focus was on me, I tried my best but knew in the forefront of my mind that I could of done better. I'm sure we all have our own expectations and requirements that we feel we need to live up to and for me, knowing that I didn't feel totally confident with how I delivered that line or played my character made me feel nervous in a way and my positive attitude turned negative because I then proceeded to doubt that I could do it at all.
I've always been someone who is unsure of how to respond to criticism and compliments. Of course, when on stage if you're directed to correct something, that isn't a personal attack on you, it's just that someone is helping you improve for your benefit. Likewise, if your weaknesses in a piece of work are listed to you that is so you can go away and improve to get a better grade. I understand how feedback works, but when in the situation I tend to forget and my personal feelings get in the way.
I'm slowly learning that although you need to work for what you want, it doesn't necessarily mean that when you get there you have to continue to push yourself. I spend far too much of my life attempting to live up to an invisible list of expectations far longer than the ones I could ever actually reach.
Hopefully one day I'll learn that I can do as I please without caring what others think of me and I'll be able to shorten my list of expectations. For now, I guess I just need to ease myself in to situations and try my best to maintain that positive outlook because being negative and putting my guard up will get me nowhere.
Dotty
X
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