The past term at Uni has been the best so far. When I came back after Christmas, I decided that I needed to make more of the city that I'm living in, but in order to do that I needed to come away from the studying a little bit. Studying is of course vital to getting a degree, however there is such a thing as studying too much. As time has gone on, I've realised that if I spend a little bit less time doing work, I'm not going to fail. Before, I don't think I had the confidence or the faith in myself that I would do well unless I did lots of studying, but I've been proved wrong and realised that I can do well by a) having a good time-management system in place and b) believing in myself.
This term has been all about testing this system and so far I think it has worked. If not for anything, then for my own peace of mind. Deadlines and getting work done has of course been a little bit stressful, but I've felt much healthier mentally simply by having some fun. To put it simply, I've had more of a life this term. I've spent more time with friends, been to some really cool places and most importantly used my weekends to wind down and relax rather than fill them with work. Not only have I been able to do this, but I've also had more than enough time to get my work done, and to a decent standard.
I looked back at the first blog I wrote about my Uni experience the other day and it's crazy to think how vastly different my mindset is now compared to then.
There are still days where I miss home and there are still days where I struggle. The difference now is that I know how to cope with it and also the feelings pass, rather than weigh me down like they did before. I've adopted more of an "I can do this" attitude instead of an "I can't do this alone" attitude. The two are on completely different ends of the scale so I can certainly say that this huge change doesn't feel so huge any more.
That being said, being alone during certain situations can be quite frightening. A couple of weeks ago I suffered from a terrible migraine. I'd never had one before so it really took me by surprise and being that unwell I still had to take care of myself. It sounds silly really, but when you've never been on your own during times you could do with a little bit of help, do you realise how looking after yourself can actually be quite a task.
The end of last week was quite a hard one too. Some issues from home really got to me and I can honestly say that feeling emotionally hurt when you're on your own is one of the toughest things. I had no-one to hug and no-one to tell me to my face that everything was going to be ok. This of course is life and there isn't always going to be someone there when you need them. I had to ring my Mum for a chat and this was really hard because I didn't want her to feel bad when I'm the one that's made the decision to be away from home, and so anything that happens is down to me to control, or at least that's how I feel. She apologised for not being able to hug me and in a way that made me feel more broken, not because what she'd said was upsetting but because a hug was exactly what I needed. I realised that I'd been bottling a lot of stuff up and that although I'm alone, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to handle everything on my own.
The positive of this situation is that rather strangley it brought my Step-Dad and I closer together. He rang me to check on me and then yesterday he came up to spend the day with me. We had a lovely day together, which is odd because a few years ago, our relationship was pretty much non-existent. I just viewed him as the man that my Mum loved and he seemed to make her happy. Having distance from him while I'm living away from home has made me realise that I actually have a male-figure in front of me who I can look up to and who I share a lot in common with. He partly fills a hole that I've had in my heart for a really long time and most importantly, he's my friend. I'm sure he'll laugh when and if he reads this because he can hand on heart agree that we've never seen eye to eye. I guess time apart can make things better. It certainly has for us.
Aside from life getting in the way (as it often does), the past few weeks have been great. There's been so many positives and although there has been negatives, I've drawn the positives out of them which isn't always easy, but I think it's definitely the way forward.
After the Easter break, I have five more weeks and then my first year is done! I can't believe how fast time is flying, but I'm glad that I'm finally utilising that time to give me a decent balance of hard-work and fun.
Now for a three week break!
Dotty
X
This term has been all about testing this system and so far I think it has worked. If not for anything, then for my own peace of mind. Deadlines and getting work done has of course been a little bit stressful, but I've felt much healthier mentally simply by having some fun. To put it simply, I've had more of a life this term. I've spent more time with friends, been to some really cool places and most importantly used my weekends to wind down and relax rather than fill them with work. Not only have I been able to do this, but I've also had more than enough time to get my work done, and to a decent standard.
I looked back at the first blog I wrote about my Uni experience the other day and it's crazy to think how vastly different my mindset is now compared to then.
There are still days where I miss home and there are still days where I struggle. The difference now is that I know how to cope with it and also the feelings pass, rather than weigh me down like they did before. I've adopted more of an "I can do this" attitude instead of an "I can't do this alone" attitude. The two are on completely different ends of the scale so I can certainly say that this huge change doesn't feel so huge any more.
That being said, being alone during certain situations can be quite frightening. A couple of weeks ago I suffered from a terrible migraine. I'd never had one before so it really took me by surprise and being that unwell I still had to take care of myself. It sounds silly really, but when you've never been on your own during times you could do with a little bit of help, do you realise how looking after yourself can actually be quite a task.
The end of last week was quite a hard one too. Some issues from home really got to me and I can honestly say that feeling emotionally hurt when you're on your own is one of the toughest things. I had no-one to hug and no-one to tell me to my face that everything was going to be ok. This of course is life and there isn't always going to be someone there when you need them. I had to ring my Mum for a chat and this was really hard because I didn't want her to feel bad when I'm the one that's made the decision to be away from home, and so anything that happens is down to me to control, or at least that's how I feel. She apologised for not being able to hug me and in a way that made me feel more broken, not because what she'd said was upsetting but because a hug was exactly what I needed. I realised that I'd been bottling a lot of stuff up and that although I'm alone, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to handle everything on my own.
The positive of this situation is that rather strangley it brought my Step-Dad and I closer together. He rang me to check on me and then yesterday he came up to spend the day with me. We had a lovely day together, which is odd because a few years ago, our relationship was pretty much non-existent. I just viewed him as the man that my Mum loved and he seemed to make her happy. Having distance from him while I'm living away from home has made me realise that I actually have a male-figure in front of me who I can look up to and who I share a lot in common with. He partly fills a hole that I've had in my heart for a really long time and most importantly, he's my friend. I'm sure he'll laugh when and if he reads this because he can hand on heart agree that we've never seen eye to eye. I guess time apart can make things better. It certainly has for us.
Aside from life getting in the way (as it often does), the past few weeks have been great. There's been so many positives and although there has been negatives, I've drawn the positives out of them which isn't always easy, but I think it's definitely the way forward.
After the Easter break, I have five more weeks and then my first year is done! I can't believe how fast time is flying, but I'm glad that I'm finally utilising that time to give me a decent balance of hard-work and fun.
Now for a three week break!
Dotty
X
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