I'm struggling to comprehend that my three years of studying at University is now over. Right before I left, everyone told me to make the most of it because it would be over before I knew it and now I realise how right they were!
Despite the time feeling like it has passed so quickly, it also feels like the beginning of first year was much longer ago than it actually was. I think it's because of where I was mentally; I didn't want to be left in halls on my own and I distinctly remember waking up after my first night and feeling so unsettled that I did nothing but cry. Now though, I can't imagine my reaction being like that at all because of how settled I became over the three years that followed.
I left for University with these big ideas of how life there would be and it was nothing like I had imagined. I'm not sure if it was better, but I will say that I don't regret a single thing. Everything I've experienced over the past three years; moving away, studying the degree I have always wanted to, living with an array of people, gaining the friends I have and experiencing life in London the way I have has made me the person that I now am.
I have way more faith in myself that I ever did, so much more confidence and am more determined than ever to achieve my goals. I have learnt things about myself that I never even imagined I would and have had my ability as a writer tested relentlessly, which has been difficult at times, but also allowed me to get things off my chest, write in styles I wouldn't ordinarily choose and become better because of it.
If I was to be asked to sum up my feelings on my University experience in one word, I would say growth. I have grown in every way possible; in my ability as a writer, in determination, in passion, in maturity and in my willing to try new things. When I look back at who I was when I was eighteen, I was nervous, constantly cared about what everyone thought of me and held back from doing certain things because I was too afraid. Whilst some of these can still ring true from time to time, now as an almost twenty-one year old, I am daring, don't care as much about what people think and will say yes to as many things as I can.
I don't want to shy away from anything anymore because otherwise I'll regret it. I have a voice and I want it to be heard, whether it be here on my blog, social media, maybe one day in the classroom and certainly in any form of my writing.
For all the graduates of 2020, it's time for the next stage in our lives, the one that's a bit more scary, but also the one where we get to put into practice everything we have learnt. It hasn't ended in the way we had all planned and I really hope that we all get to graduate. No matter what though, just remember:
WE CAN DO THIS!
Dotty
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