Standing my ground is something I've never been particularly good at. In the past this has caused me to appear to others as someone who can be walked all over and dismissed without a second thought.
I've always been happy and confident to voice my own beliefs and opinions, although this was definitely a skill I was able to work on whilst studying for my degree. After all, there's no point in having a seminar discussion about a literary text if you can't provide or support your own views. Equally, there's no point in sharing your own creative writing (in whatever medium), if you can't take and respond to both the positive and constructive comments made by your peers.
The nature of standing my ground I'm gearing my point towards though, is one away from my support, or lack of, towards a book, or even towards work I've produced myself. Instead, I'm referring to all other aspects of life; decisions made, both personal and in the workplace.
As individuals, we all have the right to choice. This could be choice with regards to which career path we go down, friends we make, places we travel to and so on. Unfortunately, in all walks of life there will always be certain decisions we make which will be judged by others. Everyone is human and judgemental is something we can all be. However, the main reason for a decision being made is because a certain individual chose to make it. No one else. It isn't and nor should it be down to anyone else to dictate whether that decision is good or bad.
Forming an opinion behind closed doors about someone or something, whether right or wrong is something we all do because again, we are all human. However, calling someone out on those actions to their face for no reason and without any context is another thing entirely.
Everyone deals with things differently. Some people like to talk, others like to keep things bottled up. Some people love confrontation, others really hate it. Just because we personally deem a choice someone has made to be "wrong" doesn't give us the right to make that person feel negative towards that decision, or equally negative towards themself.
The bottom line is there will always be someone somewhere who has something to say about decisions we, as individuals make. These could vary from how we react to a situation at work, right through to how quick or slow someone has moved on from a person or situation.
I think the point I'm trying to get at is the next time you think about bad-mouthing someone, making someone feel ashamed, hurt, or even embarassed, think twice. Consider if it's really necessary and if you deem it so, think about how you word what you are saying to them and whether the time and place is appropriate. Think about how well you know the person, or the situation and whether you actually have the rigtht information in order to form a fair opinion.
On the other hand, if you are on the receiving end of this and are the one being spoken to poorly or being criticised in any way, next time this happens, stand your ground. You have the right to speak your mind and not allow others to make you feel anything but good about yourself and your own decisions, especially if someone else is in the wrong entirely and they are getting a kick out of putting you down.
We are all human and we all have feelings. That should be respected.
Dotty
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