This morning I went to church for the first time. I went to church when I was little and have been before as an adult, through working in schools, however I have never gone to a church service by personal choice.
I really wasn't sure what to expect because I am one of those individuals who isn't sure what to believe, but am confident that having information rammed down my throat of as to why I should is not an environment I would want to be in.
Instantly and rather foolishly perhaps, I assumed that everyone present was a Christian or was perhaps battling through their own journey of conversion. In thinking this, I certainly pre-empted that I would appear as the odd one out. This wasn't at all the case and me thinking this in the first place possibly contradicts all the things a church stands for, with acceptance for all most likely being at the forefront of its purpose.
The songs were modern and enjoyable to both listen to and partake in, the prayers were minimal; something I wasn't expecting and the opportunity to talk and share with others in the form of general conversation or prayer created a really welcoming environment.
I think my main take away and probably the one thing I enjoyed the most, was looking around the room at certain moments and seeing how involved some people were getting in either the singing of the songs or the delivery of prayers. Eyes were closed, hands were up and volume was turned to the max. With the whole religious aspect aside, it made me acknowledge how beautiful it is to believe in something. Everyone has beliefs, passions and commitments and seeing so many people dedicated to their personal beliefs/faith made me consider my own beliefs and passions.
It sounds silly perhaps, but I was fully expecting to have my brain overworked with all the worries and stresses I've ever had going on in my head. This wasn't at all the case and rather, it made me think more about the things I probably wouldn't ordinarily. My friends and family who have been through or are going through hard times and the people I've met who have been through far worse than I. In doing this, my worries and stresses instantly depleted and I realised how much I probably do take for granted.
Something was mentioned during the service about not connecting with the concept of a church because we may think we're strong enough to carry everything on our own shoulders and refuse help. This really hit home and made me consider how much I try and do on my own without asking for help or guidance. Listening to a room full of people fully accepting that they don't want to carry all of their burdens on their own and rather pass them over to someone else to look after and help support them through the bad times was quite eye-opening.
It made me feel oddly selfish for thinking that I can do everything on my own without asking for help. It also gave me the time to think about things I wouldn't ordinarily.
I'm not at all saying that this experience has converted me by any means, but it has allowed me to have a small insight into why people do believe and are so commited to their faith.
Dotty
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